A1. I would speak to your cousin and
see what she has planned for the evening reception. If you’d
feel happier leaving your young daughter with your in-laws,
perhaps you could explain to her that you’ll be able
to relax more without your daughter being there. Maybe your
cousin included your daughter on the invitation as she wasn’t
sure if you could get a babysitter and felt that inviting
your daughter would mean you could be there for her. I’m
guessing that the elder children are invited as your cousin
feels that they could handle a later night whereas perhaps
the younger children couldn’t.
If you have a good relationship with your cousin, you might
like to mention that one sister is upset because her children
aren’t invited. I’m sure there’s no malice
intended, your cousin has probably made assumptions about
the children but just not explained things very well. Maybe
by adding ‘adult reception’ to the invitations,
she’s trying to dissuade other guests from bringing
children – does the venue have restrictions on numbers?
Do try and talk to her and get to the bottom of this before
the wedding rather than letting this issue cloud the wedding
day. Good luck..
(Answered by Tamryn Kirby)
A2.This is a very awkward situation and your
cousin should perhaps have explained in person to each sister
why some of the children have been invited and some not.
Perhaps she feels that the younger toddlers would be more
disruptive than a baby and older children?
If at all possible, I would ask your in laws to baby sit
for you, then you can relax and enjoy the wedding. This
may also make your other sister feel better as she wont
be the only one there without her children!
Good luck!
(Answered
by Suzie Gillespie)
A2. This sounds quite complicated but could have a simple
solution, depending on how you look at it. Reading between
the lines, it sounds as if your cousin wishes to have a
more 'grown-up'wedding with very few (young) children. The
children who are included in the wedding party seem to be
exempt from this, her choice. If you and your sisters can
see it as a chance to catch up on relatives, arrange for
a babysitter and enjoy your day off! Maybe you could all
leave your children at home so your sister with the smaller
children does not feel penalised. Try not to let it interfere,
I'm sure the bride is not intending any harm, it's very
difficult trying to get it 'just right' with everyone.
Hope this helps
(Answered
by Siobhan Barron)
A3. Don't you just love family
squables? LOL The weddings that I direct that have a child
problem, per say, I always suggest that a nanny/babysitter
be hired (or otherwise aquired) to watch the children at
a nearby location. Preferably near enough so that the parents
can pop in and check on the children during the reception.
Most people who are serving alcohal do not want children
present during the reception. No matter how well behaved,
even the best children do tend to get bored and have to
be supervised , therefor not allowing the parents to completely
enjoy theirselves. Often relatives who do not plan on staying
long at the reception will volunteer to watch the little
darlings, giving them an opportunity to visit with the children,
and take care of a need as well. I would suggest discussing
this with the couple and find their suggestions on the whole
matter, after all it is their wedding and their decision
not to include children. As for your sister, tell her to
not let her feelings be hurt over this as it seems to me,
the ages of the children were the directer in the decision
as to invite or not. Your child being an infant will not
be up running around the reception area. Tell her to think
of it as the couple are, and if it were her wedding. Hope
this helps, have a wonderful time and Best Wishes.
(Answered
by Brenda Hibbs)