net-weddings - FAQS

Midweek Wedding

Q. I am the biological mother of the bride. The bride lived with her father and stepmother growing up , however, I was very much a part of her life.

Her father is putting pressure on her to have her stepmother and myself light the unity candle. My husband and I do not get along with my ex-husband and his wife. It would be a very awkward situation for both of us. I feel that this should be my honour to light the unity candle for my daughter without the help of her stepmother. The stepmother is involved in planning other aspects of the wedding. She feels it is her right.

I asked by daughter that if she allows the stepmother to light the unity candle along with myself and the groom's mother, then my husband - her stepfather, should walk her down the isle with her father.

This has become a big issue between my daughter and myself.

Please give me your advice

A. Always very difficult. It seems that more and more couples have some kind of family politics. The main thing to remember is that it is your day and that the other guests will be aware that your parents are not together so they will accept that they will be separated for the day. If either of them do start to create a problem, the bestman should step in and have a quick word to remind them why they are there. I am used to this situation and have had to do this on a few occasions but weddings are very emotional times and as long as you make sure that they both feel important then most people put differences aside.

(Answered by Emma-Jane Bennet)