Q.How dressed up should I get, I am the stepmother of the groom. The real mother is alive and will be there so where does that leave me as far a what do I wear? The wedding is formal (long dress for the wedding party.)

A1.With regards to your outfit, I would say something smart (I'm not sure if you mean formal as in evening wear or suits and hats) but
something subtle and maybe not as attention grabbing as a traditional 'Mother of the Bride/Groom' outfit. However, this obviously depends on your relationship with the Groom and your role on the wedding day.
(Answered by Tamryn Kirby)


A2.You should still get dressed up but as a matter of courtesy check with the groom & brides mothers what they will be wearing so as not to buy the same style and colour.
(Answered by Bernadette Chapman)

A3. You have said that this is a formal wedding, therefore formal dress is appropriate. Please remember you are important, this is your stepson's wedding and you are the wife of the groom's father you have every right to be there and be counted.

My advice to you is go for it! Get yourself a beautiful outfit. The only thing I would say is try and find out what colour the bride's mother will be wearing, as both of you do not want to turn up in the same colour. Also avoid buying from the high street, choose from an exclusive boutique there will be less chance of similar outfits. Get your make-up on, get your nails done and go strut your stuff!
(Answered by Allison Safadi)

A4. this is likely to depend on how much you figure in the groom's life, and how well you get on with his real mother. If you get on, then
I suggest you liaise... this would probably be a real comfort to the groom to know that you were working together for his special day.
However, if you don't get on, then I would suggest wearing something formal, comfortable, but perhaps not too showy, as
1) you don't want to upstage the bride(!), and
2) you don't want to cause any problems on the day; especially as it sounds like you are being very considerate of everyone's feelings.
You may want to speak to your stepson about attire again, so you and his mother don't clash, or indeed wear the same/similar outfit!!
(Answered by Emma Pirie)