Split party

My partner & I are taking 12 of our family to Scotland for our mid week wedding. We will be having a party for the rest of our families and friends when we get home. We would like to ask our family to arrive at the party first so we can show them the video of the ceremony. How do we do this? Should we put it all on an invitation or a separate letter/note? We also want to explain to them that we only wanted a small intimate ceremony, and not to be upset at us not inviting them to the ceremony.


A1. What a lovely idea taking close family away with you as well as having a reception for everyone on your return. I think you should send one invite out to everyone but include a personal printed note with ones to your family, it can simply say 'groom and myself wanted a small and intimate ceremony and as such will have only very immediate family at our ceremony. However, family is still very important to us and and such we wish to hold a private wedding video screening prior to the wedding reception, as such we would be very honored if you can make this screening at X time and X room.

With all our love (Bride) & (Groom)
x

At the screening why not have some champagne on ice and make a small toast prior to watching the video?

(Answered by Bernadette Chapman)


A2. If you only want immediate family to see your wedding video then I would insert an additional letter to them. However if you want ball of your guests to see your wedding video you can put the time on your invitation when this will be viewed - and if they wish to see it they can come at the appropriate time.

I wouldn't worry about too many people being upset at not attending your actual ceremony as they will understand that this is our wish.

(Answered by Mrs S)


A3. I have had the privilege of helping couples just like you put together their small intimate wedding in Scotland - more and more couples are doing exactly what you are doing, so you are not alone. You have exactly the right idea – weddings are about sharing it with those closest to you.

I don’t think you need to explain why you did what you did in a note – I think the best way to avoid problems with it how you deal with it, in that you don’t see a problem – make it a surprise party for all your friends. Essentially you are eloping and there is nothing more romantic….

As for seeing the video you could always have a separate night or indeed have 2 invites – a bit like a traditional wedding where you get day invites and evening invites – only this time one will have the earlier time on it.

Please don’t worry about what people will think – this is your day and everyone will be happy because you are happy. Trust me!
(Answered by Aileen Boyle)


4. I would certainly recommend you put a separate letter/note in with the invitation to the family members you wish to arrive early to watch the video. This note could also explain to them your desire to have a small and intimate ceremony and that you hope they understand. I am sure they will be pleased for you and thrilled to be able to watch the video of your special day.
(Answered by Suzie Gillespie)


5. would invite everyone to the reception at the same time, have a room where you can show the video. Speak to all your guests explaining that you only wanted a small wedding and tell them they are very welcome to watch the video.
We did this for my daughter's wedding we had an open house for people to view the photos and video and it was a great opportunity for all to see the video. Everyone fully enjoyed the day. If you explain the situation to your guests I am sure they will fully understand.
(Answered by Susan Wakelin)