A mother's place

Is it appropriate for the “mother” of the bride to give her away. Parents are divorced. Bride would prefer her mother but worries about tradition!.

A1. There is nothing wrong at all in wanting your mother to give you away, especially in your situation. In fact it happened in my own family years ago and no eyebrows were raised even then. Tradition is good, but not where it conflicts with your happiness and your carefully laid plans. Go with what feels right!
(Answered by Helen Hitchcock)



A2. Whilst many couples choose to have a traditional wedding more and more people are moving away from tradition and having their wedding as they want it. If the bride would like her mother to give her away then I see no reason why she shouldn't. I actually organised a wedding this year where the bride, whose parents were also divorced, was escorted down the aisle by both her mother and father. .
(Answered by Toni Henningsohn)


A3. In my opinion, tradition is there to act as guidance only. I'm all for brides being given away by whom they feel is most appropriate. Indeed I was given away by my mother, as my parents were divorced too, and my mother had brought me up. As my main guardian, it made sense (to me at least) that she was the most appropriate person to 'give me away' to my husband. She was passing the responsibility for my care onto my husband... so, although traditionally it has been fathers, modern life isn't quite as traditional as it used to be. Go for it, ask your mother to give you away... I'm sure she'll be delighted. Depending on your relationship with your father, you might also want to chat to him about your decision, before the day, so he isn't expecting a role he doesn't have.

If you are thinking about this, you might also end up being concerned about 'top table' arrangements. Don't be! Again, use the standard traditional layouts as guidance if you wish, but if you need to, break convention. Remember, it is your wedding, and you should have the wedding you want!

Very many congratulations, and best wishes.
(Answered by Emma Pirie)

A4. More and more people are moving away from tradition and it is becoming more and more acceptable. If the bride wishes the mother to give her away, I say go for it!!!! After all it should be the someone who has been looking after you and who you are closest to!
(Answered by Aileen Paterson)