A1.It
is not usual to have a sister in law as a bridesmaid,
unless of course you happen to be close friends! Your
fiancé gets to choose his groomsmen and you choose
your bridesmaids (not him!) I am quite sure that your
sister in laws do not expect to be asked and are quite
happy to attend the wedding as guests. It is certainly
not rude to not invite them to be bridesmaids and you
should ask the friends you want.
Hope this helps!
(Answered
by Suzie Gillespie)
A2. There is no etiquette which determines
that you should invite your sister-in-laws just because
your fiance will be having their husbands as groomsmen.
It is your perogative to decide who you would like to
be your attendants and you should choose who you want
the most.
Often there is an 'expectation' from families that certain
members will be involved automatically just because they
are family. I think you're entitled to have whatever you've
always dreamed of and if this involves your close friends
then go ahead and invite them. Your sister-in-laws may
not have even considered the thought that you might ask
them to be bridesmaids or even want to be so you might
be worrying about nothing!
You could always offer your sister-in-laws some other
role in the wedding, maybe get them involved with planning
or give them an alternative responsibility on the day
(like reading a poem at the service) which will show them
that they are still important to you.
I'm sure everything will work out fine. Good luck
(Answered
by Siobhan Barron)
A3. It is normal to have 1 or
2 of the grooms sisters as bridesmaids but not sister-in-laws,
this is something I have never heard of before! So, to
answer your question I would sit him down and explain
you have 5 friends very dear to you that you would like
as bridesmaids and it would be incredibly hard to choose
between them.
Do the sister-in-laws have children? If so, you can remind
your fiancee that the children would need their Mums to
look after them.
Are all your friends unmarried? If yes then great, traditionally
Bridesmaids should be unmarried which means your sister-in-laws
are not suitable.
Do your sister-in-laws have small children i.e flowergirl
ages? This could be a great way to involve them.
I hope this helps and best of luck with your wedding planning.
(Answered
by Bernadette Chapman)
A4. There is still plenty of
time between now and your wedding, so you have loads of
time to think about your choice of attendants. Attendants
are normally made up from friends or family from both
the bride and groom and I can understand why your fiance
would like his sister-in-laws to be bridesmaids. That
said, his sister-in-laws are probably not expecting to
be asked seeing as they are not blood relatives.
Is your fiancee choosing his groomsmen? If he is then
you may like to agree with him that he chooses his attendants
and you choose yours. You have time on your side and there
is no reason why you can't have any number of bridesmaids,
if cost is a consideration, you could always suggest that
your bridesmaids contribute to their outfits. If you decide
that you have to leave somebody out from being a bridesmaid,
how about asking them to do a reading, that way they still
play an important role in the ceremony.
Another option, do your fiances sister-in-laws have children?
iI so, I am sure that they would be thrilled if you asked
their little boy or girl to be page boy or flower girl.By
doing this, you keep the adult attendants to those friends
that you have selected but keep his family happy by involving
the little ones.
Good luck.
(Answered
by Tracey Ellis)
This question comes up time and time again and I always
say the same thing. The bridesmaid is the brides domain.
It is easy to say, but you really do have to go with who
you would like.
The bridesmaids are there to assist the
bride, therefore it should be the brides choice. And if
that happens to be close friends over in-laws, then so
be it. Perhaps you should not have 5 bridesmaid and so
reduce the scope for strife between you and your fiancé.
Instead pick 2 of your oldest friends, or closest friends,
to match the groomsmen. Also you could share tasks with
the other friends and sister inlaws, making them feel
included.
It will all work out – remember, weddings
are a joyous occasion and are not meant to be a political
battleground.
(Answered
by Eileen Paterson)
