The Etiquette and Tradition
of the Seating Plan
The top table at a wedding is invariably
a straight table facing the assembled guests. This allows
everyone to see the wedding party, makes speeches easy to
give and hear, and allows the bride and groom to see all
the guests.
There are a number of 'traditional' seating plans for the
top table some of which are set out below:
1.
Groom sits to the right of the bride
Mother of the bride to the right of the groom
Father of the groom to the right of the bride's mother
Best man to the right of the father of the groom
Father of the bride to the left of the bride
Mother of the groom to the left of the bride's father
Bridesmaid to the left of the
groom's mother.
| Best Man |
Groom's
Father
|
Bride's
Mother |
Groom |
Bride |
Bride's
Father |
Groom's
Mother |
Chief
Bridesmaid |
|
Guests
|
2.
Bride sits to the right of the groom
Bridesmaid to the left of the groom
Best man to the right of the bride
Mother of the bride to the right of the best man
Father of the groom to the right of the bride's mother
Father of the bride to the left of the bridesmaid
Mother of the groom to the left of the bride's father
The fact that these are only the most
common of a number of options would indicate that as long
as the wedding party are seated at the top table and the
bride sits beside the groom, the other placings of the seating
plan are fairly flexible.
One of the biggest casualties of today's changing family
structures is the top table at the wedding and a major potential
difficulty comes in the case of one set of parents who are
divorced and don't want to sit at the same table. In this
case they should be seated at different tables among the
guests and their places taken by the usher and second bridesmaid
or by a favourite family member.
If the other set of parents are still married, they should
not be expected to give up their seats at the top table
in some attempt at symmetry. In the unfortunate case of
parents who cannot set aside their differences for the biggest
day of their child's life, there is no reason at all that
anyone other than themselves should have to bear the consequences.
The thing to aim for is harmony in the seating plan and
if tradition has to be sacrificed to achieve that, so be
it.
For Toastmaster Graham Hunt's article on seating
and other Etiquette click here.