The Etiquette and Tradition of Flowers

Flowers do so much for the atmosphere at a wedding that it is important to give some thought to your floral arrangements on the day.

Flowers not only add softness and brightness to the day, they also act as an important element in the overall design or theme of the wedding. Moreover, each flower has a symbolic meaning which can help the couple to express their feelings for each other.

Traditionally, and even today, the Groom is expected to pay for the flowers in the church and for the wedding party and the bride's parents pay for the flowers at the reception venue.



The men in the wedding party should be given buttonholes, bridesmaids require a bouquet and the respective mothers receive a corsage.

Remember that some churches and other wedding venues hold more than one wedding ceremony per day, particularly in the busy periods of Spring and Summer. If that's the case in your wedding venue think about contacting the people getting married before and/or after you and sharing the cost of the floral decorations.

In any event, you should make a discussion with the officiant the first thing you do. Not every venue is happy to have flowers brought in and some insist of providing flowers themselves. Find out at the very beginning what the policy of your chosen venue is.

If it's a church wedding you may very well find that the people at the church will be happy to help you arrange the flowers and provide advice on where and how to arrange them, all free of charge. This should be considered when thinking about making a donation to the church.

Bear in mind, however, that a wedding venue may not have time during busy periods to change floral arrangements for each couple and may require all the weddings that day to use the same displays. In that case the cost will be divided among the couples.

Although reception venues don't have more than one reception per day you may find that some venues include the cost of floral arrangements in their service. In that case you should make sure that the flower theme at the reception matches the rest of the day. Alternatively, ask them for a quote without flowers and use your own florist to decorate the reception venue, too.

For those venues which allow you to use your own florist to decorate, you should arrange a time with the manager for the decorations to be put in place. Ask the florist to double check with the management a couple of days before that the venue will be accessible on the morning of the wedding.

There are few hard and fast rules about floral decorations at the reception venue but generally there is a large arrangement on the top table and smaller arrangements on each of the guests' tables. There is usually also a large arrangement at the point where the reception line up is to take place at the point where the guests enter the reception venue.

Ask the florist to visit your reception venue with you if possible and ask their advice on how to decorate the rooms. Smaller rooms are generally quite easy to do but large rooms, hall or marquees take a bit more planning and thought. Since those rooms have a lot of space it can be expensive to decorate suitable them with floral arrangements, so consider using flowering plants and shrubs. Potted shrubs in season can be a very effective way to decorate the large spaces and can be planted in your garden afterwards. Flowering pot plants, too can be an ideal way to decorate a large space cost effectively and, like the shrubs, can be used to decorate your new home as a daily reminder of your wedding day. This is particularly lovely if these plants are in flower on your wedding anniversary.

Unless you are having a very simple wedding or you have a friend or relative who genuinely knows what they are doing, it is generally advisable to use a professional florist. Not only will they will co-ordinate the flower arrangements at all stages of the day they will also be able to advise which flowers are in season, and therefore less expensive, as well as being able to advise you on the symbolism behind your choice of flowers.

Finding a florist is usually one of the easier elements in organising the wedding. It makes sense to ask first at the wedding and reception venues, since they have weddings daily and will have seen the work of just about all the local florists. If you can't decide between a couple of florists ask if you can go along to see their work on the morning of a wedding. A good florist will usually be happy to oblige.

Choose your florist well before the wedding since good florists are usully booked months in advance. The exact choice of flowers and colours can wait until 1-2 months before and should only be made once the colours of the wedding have been chosen.

When choosing the bouquet, keep in mind the two essential features; colour and form.

The colours and type of flower for the bride's bouquet should ideally be chosen to match her natural colouring and personality. The base colour for the bouquet is traditionally white, to symbolise purity but the proper use of one or two elements of colour can really bring the boquet alive. Bear in mind the colour of the bridesmaids dresses and the overall colour scheme of the wedding, too when ordering the bouquet.

The form of the bouquet can either be long and trailing or compact and bunched. The bride's body shape and style of dress should be major factors in deciding which type of bouquet to go for. Again, a good florist will probably be able to advise. Take a picture of the style of dress and, if possible, a bit of the material to the florist who should then be able to form a picture of which style would work best with that particular bride.

After the wedding it can be a nice idea to take a cutting from some of the stems of the bouquet and to grow plants for the house or garden which can grow along with the marriage.

Bridesmaids' bouquets The bridesmaids usually carry smaller and much less detailed boquets. The colour and form should compliment the bride's if possible, but should certainly match their dresses

The male members of the wedding party wear Buttonholes, which are usually a small heather arrangement bound with a tartan bow or similar.

The mothers of the bride and groom respectively wear Corsages, which are similar in idea to buttonholes but much larger and more detailed.