Articles - Miscellaneous
The Wedding Breakfast
Wedding Breakfast Etiquette.
The word 'etiquette' and its applications have
origins from the French Court of Louis X1V and now basically
relate to the correct social code of behaviour at functions,
particularly at the Wedding Breakfast.
The Wedding Breakfast is, after the marriage ceremony, the most
important part of the special day for every body, particularly
for parents, relatives and friends whose presence contributes
to the celebrations. Nothing is quite as disastrous if, after
all the efforts made and expense incurred of all concerned,
the Wedding Breakfast falls flat through ineffective preparation.
It is here that traditional procedures followed
over many years and presented in the way they should be are
of great value in ensuring its success.
These procedures follow established protocol and
correct etiquette (there is that word again). They may be followed
in the traditional manner or you may wish to amend or change
them to suit your requirements.
Placing this into the context of the Wedding Breakfast,
the following 'rules' can be used as a guide.
The Top Table
Seating arrangement facing your guests should
normally read,
Chief Bridesmaid, Groom's Father, Bride's Mother,
Groom, Bride, Bride's Father, Groom's Mother, Best Man.
The Groom should always be on the RIGHT of his
bride unless there are family circumstances that make this impractical
or inappropriate. The same applies to: -
The Receiving Line.
The receiving line is both courteous and practical
and ought not to be omitted. Time between the ceremony and the
Wedding Breakfast itself should be allowed for this purpose.
Normally, when the bride's parents send out the invitations,
the parents are
regarded as the Host and Hostess and should be first in line
to receive the guests. Next in line can be the groom's parents
followed by the Groom, Bride, Chief Bridesmaid and Best Man.
The Groom and Bride may be placed between the two sets of parents.
The receiving line can be arranged to suit the Bridal Party,
particularly when circumstances dictate that tradition is not,
or cannot be, followed. It is courteous to greet guests politely
but briefly as timings can go awfully wrong if guests are held
up. Often drinks and canapés are served at the end of
the receiving line.
Once the meal is ready, the toastmaster ensures
that guests take their places at table at the correct time and
in an orderly manner to prepare for the Grand entrance of the
Bride and Groom.
The toastmaster will say the Grace after escorting
the Bride and Bridegroom to their places at the top table. All
remain standing until the Grace is said. The toastmaster will
introduce someone selected by the Bride and Groom to say the
Grace if required. Sometimes the Grace is not said. It is not
considered good manners for smoking to take place during the
course of the meal.
At British weddings, the ceremony of cutting the
cake by the Bride and Groom together, should take place at the
end of the meal, prior to: -
The Toasts.
There are three traditional toasts.
The first toast, the Loyal Toast is not often used. The second
toast is the duty and privilege of the Bride's Father but where
this cannot be the case a close relative or family friend may
give this very special toast to: -
The Bride and Bridegroom.
The Bridegroom responds to this toast on behalf
of himself and his Bride. Although etiquette dictates that the
speeches are in the hands of males, the Bride often adds her
own speech accompanying the Groom's. It is the Bridegroom's
duty to make the second toast to: - 'The Bridesmaids'.
The Best Man,
responds, on behalf of the Bridesmaids to this toast. It is
his duty to read out selected messages of congratulation. This
speech can make or mar a wedding breakfast and great care should
be taken to ensure the latter does not occur. It is not traditional
that the Best Man repeats the toast to the Bride and Groom.
Some do this regardless.
The Toastmaster
It is the wise organiser who ensures that all
aspects of etiquette and protocol, should be under the controlled
expertise of a professional toastmaster. His/her knowledge and
experience enables the whole procedure (in liaison with venue/catering
providers) to flow smoothly, with dignity and style, allowing
everyone to enjoy and appreciate this very special event. A
toastmaster is able to consult and advise and, most importantly,
be aware of the special and individual requirements of the Bride
and Groom and to adjust the programme accordingly.
Article written
for net-weddings by Graham Hunt, NDD. ATD.
Director,
The UK School of Professional
Toastmasters
President,
The Federation of Professional
Toastmasters,
Member
Institute of Toastmasters of
Great Britain
Affiliated
to the Toastmasters' General
Council.
(Click
here to e-mail Graham)
(Click
here to visit Graham's web site)
