Articles Miscellaneous

The Wedding Breakfast

Wedding Breakfast Etiquette.

The word 'etiquette' and its applications have origins from the French Court of Louis X1V and now basically relate to the correct social code of behaviour at functions, particularly at the Wedding Breakfast.

The Wedding Breakfast is, after the marriage ceremony, the most important part of the special day for every body, particularly for parents, relatives and friends whose presence contributes to the celebrations. Nothing is quite as disastrous if, after all the efforts made and expense incurred of all concerned, the Wedding Breakfast falls flat through ineffective preparation.

It is here that traditional procedures followed over many years and presented in the way they should be are of great value in ensuring its success.

These procedures follow established protocol and correct etiquette (there is that word again). They may be followed in the traditional manner or you may wish to amend or change them to suit your requirements.

Placing this into the context of the Wedding Breakfast, the following 'rules' can be used as a guide.

The Top Table

Seating arrangement facing your guests should normally read,

Chief Bridesmaid, Groom's Father, Bride's Mother, Groom, Bride, Bride's Father, Groom's Mother, Best Man.

The Groom should always be on the RIGHT of his bride unless there are family circumstances that make this impractical or inappropriate. The same applies to: -

The Receiving Line.

The receiving line is both courteous and practical and ought not to be omitted. Time between the ceremony and the Wedding Breakfast itself should be allowed for this purpose. Normally, when the bride's parents send out the invitations, the parents are
regarded as the Host and Hostess and should be first in line to receive the guests. Next in line can be the groom's parents followed by the Groom, Bride, Chief Bridesmaid and Best Man. The Groom and Bride may be placed between the two sets of parents. The receiving line can be arranged to suit the Bridal Party, particularly when circumstances dictate that tradition is not, or cannot be, followed. It is courteous to greet guests politely but briefly as timings can go awfully wrong if guests are held up. Often drinks and canapés are served at the end of the receiving line.

Once the meal is ready, the toastmaster ensures that guests take their places at table at the correct time and in an orderly manner to prepare for the Grand entrance of the Bride and Groom.

The toastmaster will say the Grace after escorting the Bride and Bridegroom to their places at the top table. All remain standing until the Grace is said. The toastmaster will introduce someone selected by the Bride and Groom to say the Grace if required. Sometimes the Grace is not said. It is not considered good manners for smoking to take place during the course of the meal.

At British weddings, the ceremony of cutting the cake by the Bride and Groom together, should take place at the end of the meal, prior to: -

The Toasts.

There are three traditional toasts.
The first toast, the Loyal Toast is not often used. The second toast is the duty and privilege of the Bride's Father but where this cannot be the case a close relative or family friend may give this very special toast to: -

The Bride and Bridegroom.

The Bridegroom responds to this toast on behalf of himself and his Bride. Although etiquette dictates that the speeches are in the hands of males, the Bride often adds her own speech accompanying the Groom's. It is the Bridegroom's duty to make the second toast to: - 'The Bridesmaids'.

The Best Man,
responds, on behalf of the Bridesmaids to this toast. It is his duty to read out selected messages of congratulation. This speech can make or mar a wedding breakfast and great care should be taken to ensure the latter does not occur. It is not traditional that the Best Man repeats the toast to the Bride and Groom. Some do this regardless.

The Toastmaster

It is the wise organiser who ensures that all aspects of etiquette and protocol, should be under the controlled expertise of a professional toastmaster. His/her knowledge and experience enables the whole procedure (in liaison with venue/catering providers) to flow smoothly, with dignity and style, allowing everyone to enjoy and appreciate this very special event. A toastmaster is able to consult and advise and, most importantly, be aware of the special and individual requirements of the Bride and Groom and to adjust the programme accordingly.

Article written for net-weddings by Graham Hunt, NDD. ATD.

Director,
The UK School of Professional Toastmasters

President,
The Federation of Professional Toastmasters,

Member
Institute of Toastmasters of Great Britain

Affiliated
to the Toastmasters' General Council.


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