Cure those Wedding Nerves
By Ruth Orvis
You look perfect. The dress is divine, the veil
makes you look like a heavenly body and your hair comes straight
out of Brides magazine. The church boasts more flowers than your
local florist, the limousine is gleaming and the cake is an artistic
masterpiece. The reception venue is beyond your wildest dreams,
and your passport and honeymoon tickets are packed and ready.
The sun is shining and it's a perfect day for a wedding ...so
what could possibly go wrong?
Your wedding day is supposed to be the happiest day of your life
- so why let it be ruined by nervous stress? If you find yourself
obsessing about every little detail, losing sleep and constantly
worrying, you are suffering from a bad dose of wedding nerves!
So what's the cure? Well, you could try a stiff brandy, but then
slurring your vows won't look too good on the video, and puffing
on a cigarette even less so. Hmmn...how about hypnotherapy?
The word hypnosis comes from 'Hypnos', who was the Greek god of
sleep. Now don't panic - I'm not suggesting for one minute that
you start tripping up the aisle in a deep coma. The hypnotic trance
is not sleep, rather it is a state of deeply relaxed concentration,
which causes an altered awareness. Hypnotic or suggestive therapy
has been used for centuries, but it is only in recent times that
it has gained recognition as an incredible life-changing tool.
The term 'hypnotherapy' is used to mean the use of hypnosis for
the treatment of, and relief from, a number of psychological and
physical problems.
Before you throw your hands up and exclaim that you could never
'go under', let me assure you that you already have! It is likely
that you have experienced a hypnotic trance without even knowing
it. Maybe when you're relaxing on the sofa, you might find that
you are drifting off to sleep - not quite asleep but not awake
either. This is called a 'hypnogogic' state and is a type of trance.
Likewise, if you catch yourself daydreaming, or perhaps miles
away remembering a past occurrence, this is also a form of trance.
It is when the mind is this deeply relaxed that it is most open
to positive suggestion.
Although individual therapists have their own ways of tweaking
the hypnotic process, generally the process follows the same general
outline. Starting with a basic relaxation technique, which consists
of regulating your breathing by concentrating solely on controlling
your inward and outward breaths, and moving on to mentally and
physically relaxing your body. Once this initial stage of relaxation
is reached, your hypnotherapist will gently bring you further
into the hypnotic trance. Using 'deepeners' such as 'counting
down' or a visualisation, where you imagine yourself drifting
downwards in a relaxing situation, your therapist will help you
achieve the deepest possible trance state. It is when your mind
is this relaxed that it is most open to suggestion.
Your therapist will use positive suggestions to help reinforce
your own wish to achieve complete relaxation on your wedding day.
These positive suggestions may also be 'anchored' in a physical
way, such as crossing your fingers and counting to five in a particular
situation. For instance, if an anxiety 'trigger' (such as the
thought of the cake toppling over, the limousine breaking down
or the groom simply not turning up) suddenly pops into your mind,
the anchor is used to bring you back into a state of complete
relaxation, fending off the wedding nerves. It's a question of
relearning your reaction to things and reprogramming your mind's
'internal chatter' from negative to positive. It can be the difference
between a day to remember - or a day you would rather forget!
Frequently asked questions
How does hypnotherapy work?
No one can really be sure exactly how or why
hypnotherapy works. Some believe it is because it makes you relax
sufficiently to turn off internal anxiety. By switching off the
internal anxiety and introducing positive thoughts, it is believed
that the mind is able to switch to a positive, upward spiral.
It is as if the brain acts as a tape recorder, and the hypnotherapist
works with you to record a more upbeat tune. Others believe that
in the hypnotic trance state, the left analytical side of the
brain is switched off, which allows the right creative, intuitive
side of the brain to work at full power. Either way, hypnosis
has been found to allow the mind to focus on problems and issues
in a positive way, eliminating negative or debilitating thoughts.
Who has control over the process of hypnosis?
You do. At all times you will be fully aware of
what is going on, and you are able to accept or reject the suggestions
given by the hypnotherapist.
What sort of problems can hypnotherapy help with?
All sorts of psychological, physical and stress-related problems
can be helped (including wedding nerves!) such as lack of confidence,
poor self-image, public-speaking worries and much more besides.
You see - even the best man or bride's father can be helped to
deliver his speech with complete confidence!
A good hypnotherapist will encourage you to attend
a few sessions, as this will ensure the best results. Of course
it is important that you choose a therapist who has had proper
training and is part of a recognised body, such as the National
Council for Hypnotherapy, or the UK Guild of Hypnotist Examiners.
These can easily be found in the Yellow Pages. Charges do vary,
but expect to pay a minimum of £35 to £40 per session.
Alternatively visit www.hypno-therapy.org and ask for details
of a hypnotherapist in your area.
As an alternative, there are a number of state-of-the-art
hypnosis tapes available, some of which are aimed specifically
at stress problems. These offer a cost effective introduction
to relaxation techniques, with the benefit of being able to use
them at home. They also offer a good 'practice run' in learning
relaxation techniques, which may help to give better results should
you wish to go further and contact a hypnotherapist for help with
a specific problem. Alternatively, you could have a go at self-hypnosis
using your own script and a tape recorder. Many books on self-hypnosis
are available, which give sample scripts, which you can adapt
to your own needs, or perhaps ask a close friend to have a go
at guiding you through the process!
Having the perfect wedding day takes careful
thought, planning and preparation. Make regular hypnotherapy sessions
part of your wedding preparations and your wedding day will be
a truly joyful event. Perhaps you could let the groom in on your
secret too!
If you would like a free of charge self-hypnosis relaxation script
or details of suggested hypnotherapy products, please contact
Ruth Orvis at innerhelp@aol.com
Article kindly provided by
Ruth Orvis
Click
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