Articles Health and Beauty

Cure those Wedding Nerves
By Ruth Orvis

You look perfect. The dress is divine, the veil makes you look like a heavenly body and your hair comes straight out of Brides magazine. The church boasts more flowers than your local florist, the limousine is gleaming and the cake is an artistic masterpiece. The reception venue is beyond your wildest dreams, and your passport and honeymoon tickets are packed and ready. The sun is shining and it's a perfect day for a wedding ...so what could possibly go wrong?

Your wedding day is supposed to be the happiest day of your life - so why let it be ruined by nervous stress? If you find yourself obsessing about every little detail, losing sleep and constantly worrying, you are suffering from a bad dose of wedding nerves! So what's the cure? Well, you could try a stiff brandy, but then slurring your vows won't look too good on the video, and puffing on a cigarette even less so. Hmmn...how about hypnotherapy?

The word hypnosis comes from 'Hypnos', who was the Greek god of sleep. Now don't panic - I'm not suggesting for one minute that you start tripping up the aisle in a deep coma. The hypnotic trance is not sleep, rather it is a state of deeply relaxed concentration, which causes an altered awareness. Hypnotic or suggestive therapy has been used for centuries, but it is only in recent times that it has gained recognition as an incredible life-changing tool. The term 'hypnotherapy' is used to mean the use of hypnosis for the treatment of, and relief from, a number of psychological and physical problems.

Before you throw your hands up and exclaim that you could never 'go under', let me assure you that you already have! It is likely that you have experienced a hypnotic trance without even knowing it. Maybe when you're relaxing on the sofa, you might find that you are drifting off to sleep - not quite asleep but not awake either. This is called a 'hypnogogic' state and is a type of trance. Likewise, if you catch yourself daydreaming, or perhaps miles away remembering a past occurrence, this is also a form of trance. It is when the mind is this deeply relaxed that it is most open to positive suggestion.

Although individual therapists have their own ways of tweaking the hypnotic process, generally the process follows the same general outline. Starting with a basic relaxation technique, which consists of regulating your breathing by concentrating solely on controlling your inward and outward breaths, and moving on to mentally and physically relaxing your body. Once this initial stage of relaxation is reached, your hypnotherapist will gently bring you further into the hypnotic trance. Using 'deepeners' such as 'counting down' or a visualisation, where you imagine yourself drifting downwards in a relaxing situation, your therapist will help you achieve the deepest possible trance state. It is when your mind is this relaxed that it is most open to suggestion.

Your therapist will use positive suggestions to help reinforce your own wish to achieve complete relaxation on your wedding day. These positive suggestions may also be 'anchored' in a physical way, such as crossing your fingers and counting to five in a particular situation. For instance, if an anxiety 'trigger' (such as the thought of the cake toppling over, the limousine breaking down or the groom simply not turning up) suddenly pops into your mind, the anchor is used to bring you back into a state of complete relaxation, fending off the wedding nerves. It's a question of relearning your reaction to things and reprogramming your mind's 'internal chatter' from negative to positive. It can be the difference between a day to remember - or a day you would rather forget!

Frequently asked questions

How does hypnotherapy work?

No one can really be sure exactly how or why hypnotherapy works. Some believe it is because it makes you relax sufficiently to turn off internal anxiety. By switching off the internal anxiety and introducing positive thoughts, it is believed that the mind is able to switch to a positive, upward spiral. It is as if the brain acts as a tape recorder, and the hypnotherapist works with you to record a more upbeat tune. Others believe that in the hypnotic trance state, the left analytical side of the brain is switched off, which allows the right creative, intuitive side of the brain to work at full power. Either way, hypnosis has been found to allow the mind to focus on problems and issues in a positive way, eliminating negative or debilitating thoughts.

Who has control over the process of hypnosis?

You do. At all times you will be fully aware of what is going on, and you are able to accept or reject the suggestions given by the hypnotherapist.

What sort of problems can hypnotherapy help with?

All sorts of psychological, physical and stress-related problems can be helped (including wedding nerves!) such as lack of confidence, poor self-image, public-speaking worries and much more besides. You see - even the best man or bride's father can be helped to deliver his speech with complete confidence!

A good hypnotherapist will encourage you to attend a few sessions, as this will ensure the best results. Of course it is important that you choose a therapist who has had proper training and is part of a recognised body, such as the National Council for Hypnotherapy, or the UK Guild of Hypnotist Examiners. These can easily be found in the Yellow Pages. Charges do vary, but expect to pay a minimum of £35 to £40 per session. Alternatively visit www.hypno-therapy.org and ask for details of a hypnotherapist in your area.

As an alternative, there are a number of state-of-the-art hypnosis tapes available, some of which are aimed specifically at stress problems. These offer a cost effective introduction to relaxation techniques, with the benefit of being able to use them at home. They also offer a good 'practice run' in learning relaxation techniques, which may help to give better results should you wish to go further and contact a hypnotherapist for help with a specific problem. Alternatively, you could have a go at self-hypnosis using your own script and a tape recorder. Many books on self-hypnosis are available, which give sample scripts, which you can adapt to your own needs, or perhaps ask a close friend to have a go at guiding you through the process!

Having the perfect wedding day takes careful thought, planning and preparation. Make regular hypnotherapy sessions part of your wedding preparations and your wedding day will be a truly joyful event. Perhaps you could let the groom in on your secret too!

If you would like a free of charge self-hypnosis relaxation script or details of suggested hypnotherapy products, please contact Ruth Orvis at innerhelp@aol.com

Article kindly provided by Ruth Orvis
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